Goals win games, and the more goals you score, the more the opposition needs to score in reply. It’s a fairly obvious statement, and it’s been the premise of soccer for over a century; score at least one more goal than the opposition.
Occasionally, a game comes along that surpasses expectations, more goals are scored than usual, and a team goes away with an excellent victory. The fans go home happy because they’ve seen a great game; maybe even four or five goals have been scored in an end-to-end battle between two great teams.
On truly rare occasions, there are games where the scoresheet reads like a telephone book, where the goals go into double digits, and one team absolutely destroys another.
These games are so rare that they’re never forgotten, and today we’re going to go over seven of the most incredibly high-scoring games in professional soccer; strap yourself in.
7. Tahiti 30 – 0 Cook islands (1971)
International soccer is always the pinnacle of a player’s career, the culmination of a career that’s meant you’re one of the best players your country has produced.
This international game, however, is probably one that the players from the Cook Islands would rather forget.
One of the smallest Oceanic Football Confederation nations around, the Cook Islands are, unsurprisingly, used to being the underdogs, even when playing the mighty Tahiti.
The 30-0 scoreline certainly raised eyebrows, though, as this scoreline made this game one of the highest-scoring games of all time.
6. Australia 31 – 0 American Samoa (2001)
Australia is better known for its cricket than for its soccer, but the national team has consistently produced quality players that have often played in some of the biggest leagues in world soccer.
An easy victory was expected in this 2001 World Cup qualifier, although probably not by such a wide margin.
This scoreline makes the meeting between Australia the highest-scoring World Cup qualifier of all time.
To add insult to American Samoa’s injuries, it also gave Australian international Archie Thompson the record for the most goals in an international game, with an eye-watering 13 goals.
5. Dundee Harp 35 – 0 Aberdeen Rovers (1885)
You’ll not find Dundee Harps playing in the Scottish leagues any longer, but the now-defunct club is a part of the history of soccer thanks to this incredible victory over Aberdeen Rovers in 1885.
The game became so ridiculous that at the end of the game, the referee had miscounted the goals scored by Dundee and had the game scored at 37-0.
Thankfully, an honest and probably shamefaced Dundee Harps secretary advised the referee of the correct score. Not that it did Aberdeen Rovers any good, as this is one of the most significant defeats in soccer history.
You’d be forgiven for thinking this incredible scoreline was so rare that it would be decades before it was equaled; you’d be wrong because on the same day, over in Arbroath, something equally insane was happening.
4. Arbroath 36 – 0 Bon Accord (1885)
That’s right, on the same day Dundee Harps were romping to an incredible 35-0 victory, fellow Scottish team Arbroath was putting Bon Accord to the sword with an even more unlikely 36-0 victory.
Incredibly, Bon Accord was also based in Aberdeen, making this day, the 12th of September, the worst day in the history of Aberdeen soccer.
While Arbroath is still active today in the Scottish league, Bon Accord has long since been consigned to the history books. In fact, while it may not have seemed like it at the time, this hammering by Arbroath is probably the only reason we’re still talking about the club.
Scottish player John Petrie became the first player to ever score 13 goals in a single game during the demolition of Bon Accord.
Ironically, Bon Accord means good will, something the club certainly showed Arbroath, as the players spent the entire game giving their opponents all the space they needed for this incredible rout.
3. Police Machine FC 67 – 0 Bubayaro FC (2013)
The 12th of September 1885 may have been an incredible day for soccer, with two games having a combined 71 goals between Arbroath and Dundee Harp, but the 7th of July 2013 beats that hands down.
With the Police Machine FC scoring 67 goals and Plateau United Founders scoring 79, this date has to go down as the highest-scoring day in soccer history.
In a game that reeked of match-fixing and shame, the ironically named Police Machine FC demolished Bubayaro FC 67-0 in a game that will be forever remembered as one of the most shameful displays in soccer.
Despite demands for lifetime bans for both clubs, Police Machine FC are still going strong today, albeit in the lower leagues of Nigerian soccer.
It’s unlikely that the club will ever score as many goals as this again, in fact, many teams don’t score 67 goals in a season, let alone in one game.
2. Plateau United Founders 79 – 0 Akurba FC (2013)
The second half of this comedy act double comes at Plateau United Founders, another Nigerian soccer team, where on the very same day as Police Machine scored 67, Plateau United went one better, well twelve better, as they defeated Akurba FC 79-0.
In a dark day for the integrity of Nigerian soccer, Plateau United were 7-0 in front at half time, before the game imploded.
Being 7-0 behind at half time is bad enough, but to concede another 72 goals is very nearly impossible. The time taken to restart the game after each goal should have taken up enough time to see the game out.
One player scored 11 goals, another hapless player scored three own goals, and the game turned into a farce that will live long in the memory.
Given that both games were played on the same day, in the same country, and had such unbelievable scorelines, authorities were positive that match fixing had taken place.
What the players thought they wre doing, in both games, where the scorelines needed to be over 60 goals, is anyone’s guess.
1. A.S Adema 149 – 0 SO Emyrne (2002)
Yes, you read the scoreline correctly, 149-0. In a game that can only be described as an exercise in picking the ball out of the net, this 2002 game between A.S Adema and Stade Olympique L’Emyrne is probably the highest scoring game the world will ever see, professional or amateur.
This wasn’t an underhand, criminal exercise in match-fixing; Stade Olympique downed tools for the entire game in protest over refereeing decisions in previous games, allowing their arch-rivals
A.S Adema to romp to victory. In other circumstances, the referee would typically abandon the game if one team sat on the floor in mute protest.
Given that the Stade Olympique players were accusing the referee and his colleagues of incompetence, you can see why in this instance, the referee simply let one team play while the other sat down.
The only reason the game finished 149-0 was that the Adema players had to run back to their own half to restart the game.
This game is a Guinness Book Of Records holder for the most goals in a single game (unsurprisingly) and will remain one of the oddest and most amusing instances of player revolt ever seen.
You can only wonder at what the fans in the stadium thought as the goals kept on coming, although if you’re a Stade Olympique supporter, the laughs probably dried up quite quickly.
